My Afghanistan Journal

In March of 2007 I went to Kabul, Afghanistan to teach computational Hydrology and Hydraulics to government and university engineers. I kept a journal to send to my wife each evening. Here it is.

Friday March 9

I arrived in Paris around 530 am but didn’t get to customs until around 6:20. It seemed like we taxied to Switzerland. But customs was unbelievably brief and I found myself with a solid six hours before my next flight. So I decided to go with my plan to explore the city. The subway connected directly to the Airport. It took me longer than it should have to buy a ticket and then I got on the Blue line to downtown.

The Blue line does not show the best face of Paris. Lots of trash, rail yards, industry and squatter communities (but a lovely sunrise). Surprisingly, until the downtown stops most of the train patrons were non-Anglos. It took about 40 minutes to get to a stop that looks pretty centrally located. I did no research for this little side excursion, so I was winging it. I wanted to get to the river and start from there...But I begin walking north instead of south and ended up in a sort or red light district (or was it just a standard business district in Europe?). I soon figured out my mistake, but not before I found a nice lady in a bread shop who sold me an éclair.

I finally made it to the river. You could see a lot of Paris from there. The Eifel tower, Notre Dame and a couple of other big buildings that looked important. I liked the River. There is a water level pathway that you could jog or bike on. But my overall take on Paris is that it is not nearly as nice or romantic as London. At least the river neighborhoods.

I walked around a while, just trying to ingest the spirit of the city. That is kind of dramatic language for why I like visiting new cities. I like seeing the built and natural environments that surround people and think about their history and imagine how these things affect the city culturally and spiritually.

Finally I tried to make good on the only ‘when in Paris’ suggestion I got…a Nutella crepe. Unfortunately, it was pushing 10:00 and Paris was not yet really open. I searched St. Michaels square for the object of my quest. There were lots of little crepe shops (some with people in them) just none of them were open. I finally settled on a café and had a chocolate crepe (not quite the same but sort of).

So something I observed about the French. In the cafés, they would often just sit. Whether they were smoking a cigarette, drinking their coffee or done with their meal. I observed several Parisians just sitting. This does not fit with the culture of efficiency, marketing stimulants on the go of our corporate coffee culture. I tried just sitting there. Three minutes later or so I was reading my book.

I bought a ticket for the Blue line (at a different stop than I got off at – which I was proud of) but accidentally got on the high speed East West commuter instead. This was stressful. I did meet a couple of nice guys from Florida, though. So far in my trip it seems like strangers are encouraging and thankful when they hear about my plans in Kabul.

I finally got on the Blue line. I have to say that the Paris subway is by far the most confusing I have tried to figure out recently. The different language thing doesn’t help…but it is just poorly marked.

I got back to the Airport with plenty of time to spare, only when I got to the lobby the police were stopping everyone. We waited for 20 minutes and the cops apparently explained the situation to everyone to their satisfaction in French. Then a whistle blew and an explosion went off in the information booth on the next floor up but in sight. Then they let us go. I have no idea what exploded.

The part of Paris airport that is finished is really nice. I had a salami and pickle baguette and went to a shop to get a drink. I met John Hazelton in the drink shop, the guy I am going to be teaching with. John’s a really good guy. We met at an HEC class a while before I worked there and went to a Giants game together. He’s spent over 10 months in Afghanistan during two trips. When no one at HEC wanted to teach with me we called John.

The next leg was Paris to Dubai on Air France, 6.5 hours. This was a really nice flight. I got to choose a movie, the seats were comfortable and the food was excellent. I saw Stranger than Fiction and really enjoyed it. There is something about Will Ferrell that I really like despite my better judgment. It is almost like he has an innocent likeability that most of the other comedians lack. Maybe he is less cynical. This was also the first movie I’ve seen with Maggie Gyllenhall in it and she stole every scene she was in. For the rest of the flight I read a History of the Middle East. It’s pretty good.

When we reached Dubai the government had hired a handling service to move us through customs and get us a ride. I guess this is helpful for some, but John and I agreed that we could have gotten from plane to hotel in about half the time (and we’re sure less money). There was a lot of waiting.

The hotel was one of the nicest I’ve been in. Foot for foot, Dubai is one of the richest places in the world because of an unusually high concentration of oil money. But there are still signs of poverty everywhere you look. This is perhaps the greatest contrast I’ve seen.

John and I check in and then got beers at the bar. There was a live band and the whole bar seemed to be staffed by east Asians. I guess that is how you have a bar in the middle east.

Saturday March 10

I had trouble sleeping and got up at 6:30. Breakfast was the best free hotel breakfast I’ve ever had. Fried rice, yogurt, fruit, noodles, fresh juice, lean beef bacon and chicken sausages (yet more signs that we were in the Muslim world).

We got a shuttle to the hotel and got a UN humanitarian aid flight to Kabul. The flight was only about 2.5 hours. We were served an odd meal of whole eggs cooked in a middle eastern meat and bread crust. Of all the flights this would have been the one to be by the window…but I wasn’t. I did get to see some of the mountains from my seat, though as they peaked above the clouds. They were very dramatic. Afghanistan could have an amazing tourist industry if they hadn’t been one of the world’s most violent places for the last 30 years.

The airport was rustic and customs took a while. We had to fill out a form that never got used and John smiled and said ‘welcome to Afghanistan.’ We had another handler who took us to our ride. It was 3 Toyota land cruisers with armed soldiers. We put on body armor and helmets and drove about 20 minutes to Quelaa house, the Corps of Engineers compound. Everyone knew and like John there, but one guy was particularly friendly and took over our processing. He worked for USAID as well as the Corps and was John’s roommate during his last deployment. Dan had pulled some strings and gotten us an apartment in the USAID building. This meant no 6-to-a-cold-tent accommodations. After being at Quelaa house for 20 minutes, I was glad I was leaving. It had a very military feel to it. Uniforms were worn all the time and people were giving orders. USAID is much more laid back and more my style.

USAID is an interesting animal. They spend a very small portion of their money on water. We are here under power generation money. All of the hydraulics we are going to teach are supposed to focus on dam operation. The other thing I noticed is they do a lot of dam and coal burning work. The competing objectives of environment and development come together in their organization and environment gets the crap kicked out of it…and I’m not sure I disagree.

We went to dinner and I had lasagna, chicken soup and kiwis. John and Dan did a lot of reminiscing and busting on each other, but I started fading fast. We got home, I wrote a little and went to sleep at 10.

Sunday March 11

Slept fitfully until 3:30 then finally got up, showered, and took my laptop and books to a patio behind our apartment. Its cold, I can see my breath, and it is raining a little. I am beginning to think that cold tolerance is one of my thyroid symptoms (this turned out to be true). It just doesn’t bother me.

I have been thinking a lot about Nepal. It has been exactly 10 years as evidenced by having to get my passport renewed. I left Nepal feeling that I needed to get something that poor Asians could use. And here I am, invited to a country I have cared about for a while to share the things I have spent 10 years learning. But it is too short a stay to offer the holistic package I’ve wanted to bring. I think Afghanistan would be a great place for us if it wasn’t for all the fighting. It makes me think Pakistan might work out well for us.

Its 5 am and I can hear the call to prayer through the renewed light rain. Actually, that doesn’t sound like a bad idea at all.
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We watched NCAA basketball during breakfast. The time zone has advantages. Our main contact, Dan, here is a Wisconsin fan so I doubt I will be missing any big games.

Security seems to be really good in Kabul. Apparently there are some streets people keep off, but otherwise it’s really pretty safe. Most of the USAID folks don’t even wear their body armor or helmet when in transit (not me though…I’m all about my body armor when advised).

Today is a work day but the class doesn’t start until tomorrow. We had a meeting about the
Kajakai project and spent much of the morning talking about it and chasing data. It is a pretty cool project that was supposed to be built in ’79 before the Soviets invaded. Then we spent some time working on our lectures as we waited for several hours for our contact who supposedly printed out the student notes…nope. We spent the afternoon preparing the binders of notes for the students rather than prepping the lectures themselves. It was pretty stressful. At one point I had broken all three copiers owned by the Corps and USAID.

We worked a solid 12 hour day today. It seems fairly common around here, but it was rough given the jet lag and three nights of rocky sleep. It has been a rough time to give up soda for lent. It is free and I could use it. But I face my jet lag unmedicated and feel oddly heroic for it. Once in a while I use the cravings to meditate on the darkness of my unregenerate life and the longing for Jesus to make things right in the world and in my heart.

I think that this kind of work attracts odd people. Three separate discussions over meals today were about a friend made in Afghanistan who got divorced. I find some of them a little abrasive.

It’s been raining today in Kabul. It’s nice, but as Bilbo would say ‘I want to see the mountains again.”

My body armor makes it difficult to get in and out of vehicles. I kind of have to awkwardly roll out of my seat. It made me admire my pregnant wife.

The USAID house is empty. Part of me is sad. It would have been interesting to hang out with the notoriously bohemian crew. Part of me is relived to just lay here in my bed without social pressure to interact with high energy do gooders (and I do mean do gooders in the most bureaucratic sense possible).

I found out today that the embassy stocks a hard liquor store. I thought it was illegal to consume alcohol here but apparently it only is if you get your paycheck from the Department of Defense. I expressed my surprise to Dan who replied “USAID folks couldn’t do what they do without several drinks every night.”

The embassy café was selling candy bars made in Iran. This was strangely hysterical to those of us at dinner.

I seem to be listing random 1-3 sentence thoughts rather than journaling. I’ll blame the 12 hour jet lag

It has started to ever so slightly snow.

Monday March 12

It has been five days since we started out and finally we are going to do what we came for. We grabbed a substantial breakfast and some lunch snacks and drove across the city to the ministry of water. The Ministry is in a big building. The halls are concrete; cold dark and dirty. When we got there at 8:45 people were streaming in.

We had planned to teach two classes per day, an advanced class in the afternoon and a beginning class in the morning to a total of 20 people. As the classroom began to fill however, we realized that something was up. The plan had not been communicated. Everyone showed up for the Advanced class. (Of course we didn’t know this and taught the advanced material to everyone). The class had mostly ‘project engineers,’ some water management, two professors and two journalists (there to write a story about us). We received a long introduction that could have been anything (it was in dari). I introduced the class and then John gave the fist lecture. We were told everyone spoke English and that we didn’t need a translator. This was not the case. So after each very simple slide one of the professors stood and talked in his language for 5 to 10 minutes. I think this was helpful but it wasn’t our class. He talked to me before the class about how we should have taught at the University and I think he may have felt we were stepping on his turf as the senior hydraulic expert in the city. But he finally gave this up and John and I were able to give our lectures. I believe that some didn’t understand and one of our helpers it trying to scare up a translator.

We then found out that none of the students knew there were two classes (a morning advanced and an afternoon beginners). By the end of the class they all seemed to understand…but then they all showed up for the afternoon. So I gave a new lecture. It turns out that all of the students can come morning and afternoon…so I have to redo the class with about 30% more material. It is stressful, but they are all eager students. It makes me glad I can give them more information.

In all the class went quite well. My lively/humorous teaching style is not really an asset (I need to talk slowly and they either don’t think I’m funny or think it is rude to laugh at me) but my knowledge of the subject matter is. Most of the material is new to most of them.

After the class it took 2 hours for our ride to arrive. There are frustrating aspects to the culture here. But the clouds began to break and we saw the bases of some mountains. Since the ride to the ministry was across town I got to see much more of Kabul today. Goat herds in the streets, houses built high into the mountains, raw sewage etc… I am surprised how much like Nepal it is…less honking though. In the half hour ride my driver only honked 3 times. In Nepal it would have been 20+. The burkas are also a new twist.

They are building 2 new big mosques between our quarters and the Ministry. It is finally peaceful enough here to do major work like that. There is no doubt that the majority of Afghanis are better off today than when the Taliban owned 90% of the country.

It’s going to be another 12+ hour day.

The Iranian candy bars were removed from the shelves today.
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It is funny to me that I brought so much work to do in the evenings thinking, ‘I’ll be in Afghanistan, the classes are only six hours, after a little lecture prep I’ll have lots of time to count sand and read journals.’ I can hardly find time to e-mail my wife. I steal moments throughout the day to write this. Tomorrow is my most difficult lecture. Hopefully it will slow down after that.

Wednesday we conduct our first workshop. The computer situation is a little suspect. We only succeeded in loading the program on 2 of 5 machines we tried and when I ran a demo HMS crashed. This is really the last hurdle we need to cross.

All of the computers are infested with multiple nasties and none of them have virus software. I wonder if the people who write viruses understand that they have a far more debilitating effect on the developing world’s cyber infrastructure than America or Europe.

Tuesday March 13

I slept in today until six. My toughest lecture is today, but I think I have it under control. It was a cold sunny morning and the mountains were out. They were not as dramatic as those we saw flying in, but they were still pretty impressive.

We have a translator today. He is quite good and knows his H&H well. Sometimes I have to check my pride when I feel like he is embellishing my lecture. There was also a point where a question was asked and the only answers I could think of were use GIS or guess. My computer use has left me out of touch with the earlier methods still used in a place like this.

The class started out pretty rocky. One of the professors said it was all too complicated and we needed to spend some time describing what a model is. We did and he backed off. Later he told me he intends to start each day with a basic question that he feels the class needs. Now that I know that it will be easier to handle. It feels like a little bit of a power play, but I feel like my role as a cultural learner requires I submit to some of that.

Speaking of being a cultural learner. We gave them an hour for lunch yesterday. When just 4 people came back on time I figured that they were the only ones coming and started. Half an hour later the rest of the class streamed in. Today I asked if an hour is too short for lunch. They murmured and then one of the professors said “lunch and prayer.” 1:30 it is then…man did I feel like an infidel.

We were strongly advised not to eat lunch at the Ministry. This is really sad since the food the locals are eating looks fabulous. We are forced to pack cookies and fruit that we can scavenge at breakfast (yesterday I made a salami and Swiss sandwich). It is really too bad. John and I both forgot hand sanitizer too, so we are eating everything while holding them in napkins. It was particularly fun when he passed me a pretzel, both of us holding it in a napkin.

While on the topic of food it is pretty good here. There are several different places we eat. The CAFÉ at USAID, the Corps spread at Qualaa house, and this morning we visited the dining facility 30 yards from our house for the first time. The food is always good. I’ve had some very good kabobs and an eggplant/potato casserole that was surprisingly enjoyable. The breakfast spreads are bigger than a shonees. I feel like they cater to various US cultures. There is always southern food (Biscuits and gravy and grits which John appreciates). But the best part is the fresh fruit. Plenty every day and its good.

Speaking of potato above, whenever we get hassled (usually by strangers walking by us) for not speaking one of the languages (which happens a lot here and the ‘I’m only here for two weeks’ answer is not satisfying) John always shows off the one Pharsi word he does know: catchaloo or potato. It is such a fun word that it always makes the accuser laugh and become less aggressive.
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Tonight was the first night that we were not too exhausted to use the gym. It’s a really nice gym, about 200 yards from our house. I ran and lifted and feel much better. I really think the medicine (though taken semi-regularly) is helping with getting back in shape.

Even though I have a very small sample set (some where around 3) I think that today was one of the best possible days in Kabul. It wasn’t muddy, or hot, or cold, or dusty or foggy or smoggy. The mountains were out and snow capped. Really nice.

On the way back from the gym tonight I had the brief feeling that I had been here in a dream many years ago. Um…weird. When I was a charismatic I would have read something into it. Now I just write a couple sentences and move on.

Anyway, seeing the daily workings of USAID has really helped to demystify the ‘international development’ industry. It is true that they appear to have a sense of mission and purpose…but they also write reports, deal with annoying co-workers (possibly to a disproportionate degree) and just slog it out through the bureaucracy of multiple governments. Some could be in it for the money and adventure (which both can be plentiful if you play it right and are somewhat useful). Meanwhile, it has encouraged me regarding the usefulness of a professor of hydrology/hydraulics in a country like this. The engineers I am dealing with are really hungry for training, but are, for the most part, not well trained. Of course, I have also often felt that precisely what I am doing is what I should continue doing.

Wednesday March 14

Today started pretty normal. I slept mostly until my alarm at 6:30 for the first time. I was showered and ready for the class. I even had time to read a little last night after my prep. We were developing a routine. Before breakfast, John went out to get some coffee and I took some time to read my Bible. (I am making my way through Luke making it the first time in a long time I have lingered in a gospel…though I am finding the language of the Psalms to be really resonating with me here. I try to read one at the beginning and end of the day.) While I was reading…BOOM!! The little window in our basement apartment rattled and shook. Actually, the window shook before the sonic wave hit us so for a second it sounded like a tornado strength wind…until I heard the explosion (and echoes). John came back and we met up with the other two people in the house (USAIDers). I called Amanda immediately and, for the first time, got through. I left a message. John and I decided to get ready to go. We had breakfast and then called the motor pool to confirm our 8:30 pickup. The motor pool was locked down. We weren’t going anywhere. We called the ministry to tell them we weren’t coming. They said it was just a propane gas line explosion and that the Army would lift the lock down. We called Dan. He had heard it was a gunpowder stash. Regardless, the motor pool was scheduled to be released at 900 so it looks like we might be able to get in today anyway.

I had a bunch of fresh pineapple and cottage cheese for breakfast and John said that pineapple is supposed to make you dream and remember your dreams. Hmm. It feels like in the dream I remembered I was in a compound in Afghanistan with government aid workers (and we were sharing bowling ball sized chocolates…it was a dream after all). Funny.

One of the AID workers here is working with locals in one of the provinces to train them in maintenance of their new micro-hydro plants. Apparently the Corps is looking for an engineer to help build these units. The woman at our house said that the Corps is good at building these little projects and that they are really useful. Seems compelling. It is a sustainable, local technology that would certainly be applicable elsewhere in the developing world. Wayne is going to have something to say if I spend some time working on micro-hydro. Maybe he should go.

Over the Rhine oddly makes me feel at home. I’m listening to Ohio now and feel like she is describing a place that has a sense of gravity for me, especially when I am in half a world away.

We finally left and actually got to class on time. I gave the toughest lecture and it was slow going. Two and a half hours. The first workshop is this afternoon.

I found out today that Kandahar means 5 brothers referring to the legend in which 5 brothers were sent south to build and ancient dam. Water engineering is even in their lore here.

The class went really well today. I had the most technical lecture of the class first. It took 2.5 hours with translation. I think some thought it was of marginal applicability but I think most got something out of it. I probably should have gone with a simpler routing lecture. After lunch we did the first workshop. It started out a little rocky, with us walking them step by step…but by the end most caught on. Some stayed late and most finished the workshop to their delight. It was a really positive experience and, I think, a bonding point for the class. I think my relationships with them developed more over those 3 hours than the previous 2.5 days. John said it was his favorite day in Afghanistan and one of his favorites as an engineer to be able to work along side them

A couple other thoughts.

John’s quote “How better to make life long friends than a bomb blast and a very bad bathroom.” About hanging out with the 2 AID PRT’s in our house after the blast.

I am really enjoying Charles Williams Descent into Hell, he seems to be exploring the idea of ‘the terrible good.’ It’s a really fruitful line of thought. His characters are really layered. I love his description of real life situations. He is poetic without seeming self important. His dream and fantasy sequences are ponderous, though.